Mourning on Bad Friday

From the time I started attending services at our small Lutheran church, as a child, I was confused. I was confused because, so often, what was being taught and done many times did not match with my perception of reality in the world.

Fast-forward the clock 20 some odd years later not much has changed.

I could point to many examples of this, but today, we can use a very specific example.

Today is the Christian festival, or holiday, of Good Friday.

Good Friday.

Today, Christians the world over, are celebrating the crucifixion of Jesus; the one who they believe to be the Messiah.

Notice the two underlined words above:

Celebrating

&

Crucifixion

For those unfamiliar with Roman torture techniques, I’ll give a very brief definition:

It Sucks…

Worse than cutting jalapenos and then adjusting your, umm.. yeah. Worse than stepping barefoot on a tree stump and it skewering your foot like a kabob. But enough about me.

Crucifixion was a routine torture technique developed beginning in 6BC and used by the Carthaginians, Persians, Romans, Seleucids, and even the Japanese. It was outlawed in the Roman Empire some 300 years after Jesus’ crucifixion for being too cruel and inhumane.

Crucifixion was developed as a contest of sorts, between soldiers and rulers, to find a way to inflict death in the slowest, most gruesome, most painful, most humiliating, and in the most public way possible. And it was REALLY effective. Sometimes.

It’s odd, isn’t it? That we would celebrate such a ridiculously heinous act as a crucifixion?

Last night, at our Ink gathering, our friend James brought up an interesting aside to our conversation. He said historically, in the first 300 years of the early Church, followers of Jesus did not use a cross to identify and represent themselves. Loaves of bread? Yes. Anchors & fish? Yes. The cross? No way. To these early followers of Jesus, the cross represented something so horrific, and something that they were very well acquainted with, that it was unthinkable to them to use that icon as a point of identification.

Others chimed in and offered a modern crucifixion equivalent as an electric chair, a bullet, or a lethal injection syringe. Can you imagine the disdain people would have for that kind of jewelry hanging from someone’s neck? Can you imagine the reaction of someone wearing a golden noose around their neck or on a charm bracelet?

These days, Christians sue when they’re told not to wear a cross necklace at work, or when someone burns a cross, or breaks a cross, or wears an upside down cross, which incidentally is exactly how Peter was crucified. I have to imagine that the early followers of Jesus would break and burn every cross they could get their hands on.

Insofar as I can tell, the celebration of a murder through an object of torture is a complete disconnect from every kind of reality possible.

So I understand that today is “Good Friday”. I understand the various theologies surrounding the Cross of Christ; that it’s by the Cross that we are redeemed, so on and so forth.

 However. Today, I’m going to begin calling it Bad Friday because, let’s be honest, there was nothing good about that Friday. At least on if you went through that Friday.

Garret Keizer writes, “Christ did not solve the Cross. He suffered the cross.”

In the four scenes of the crucifixion in the Gospels, Friday is not depicted as a good day. It was not filled celebratory music. It wasn’t butterflies and puppy dogs. It was angst. It was mourning. It was grieving. It was suffering.

Here we have Jesus hanging on a cross, not to mention the events leading up to this point. But he’s hanging on a cross. For the most part, his closest friends have abandoned him, denied him, or sold him out.

He’s hanging on a cross and asks God, why he’s doing this to him. Why, in this hour when it would be tops to have the one person he should be able to count on to be there and offer comfort, why has God left him?

And God’s response? A most deafening silence.

Crickets.

I believe the Bible is such a powerful collection of writings not only because it contains stories that happened a long time ago and occasionally pull at our emotional heartstrings with the right background music, but because we see our story within the story.

On Friday, everything is falling apart

On Friday, things are unresolved

On Friday, it really hurts

Today is Friday, it’s not Sunday. So often, I want Sunday but I don’t want to have to go through Friday. I want an open tomb, but don’t want to have to endure a  cross.

I want immediate fixes. I want solutions and answers and I want them NOW.

But sometimes those answers only come through recognizing the pain I’m in. Freedom comes through embracing and grieving the unresolved pain and losses in my life.

So on this Bad Friday, may we be present in the places we are. May we embrace the pain in our lives. May we recognize and name the losses we’ve endured, but never properly dealt with. May we grieve them, lament them, and even mourn them. And then may we surrender them to God and allow a grace that covers all and a peace that surpasses all envelop us and keep us.

May you bask in the reality that today is Bad Friday.

Farewell, Outlaw Preachers

This is one of the most difficult posts I’ve written to date. Initially, I was just going to file it away, but over the last few days, I’ve heard rumors that were, of course, untrue, so I’ve decided to clear the increasingly dense air.

The last two weeks has been chock full of all kinds of joyful, interesting, and heartbreaking happenings. I have had some excellent phone conversations and some disheartening, or revealing, rather, phone conversations and interactions. Of course, there has also been a fair amount of Outlaw Preachers drama. It pains me, deeply, that I am even able to say ‘of course’ in that last sentence.

For some time, I have considered resigning from OP ‘leadership’. Perhaps I have been holding on to hope that I might be able to help facilitate a return to our things of first importance. In my honest estimation, to date, that hasn’t happened. We’re not even on the road to those things.

More recently, I’ve been holding on to hope that the reboot of the Outlaw Preachers website would help bring a clear center and identification of purpose to our community. The more I’ve considered this, the more I believe it won’t help resolve the perennial issues. It may only serve to exacerbate them.

Some heels have been dug in.

Some wagons have been circled.

Some have been, for some time, publicly calling for various leadership to be forcibly removed. Some have done so in private. One person has even issued multiple threats to me, privately. I’ve heard of conversations from people that they were contacted and ‘encouraged’ to choose a ‘side’. In this context, these kinds of actions are unacceptable for any person, let alone someone who claims to follow Jesus.

I will say publicly that I have not, and would not, ever ask someone to choose a side for me. I can handle my own business. Others cannot and need others to back them. When people back them, the feel it legitimizes their thoughts and actions and gives them a false sense of respect. While I do not agree with that kind of posturing, I understand it.

As history progresses, people change. Perhaps I’m being unreasonably nostalgic in hoping for the days when the Outlaw Preachers weren’t embroiled in constant arguments; when a tangible sense of grace, peace, and respect ruled our interactions. We’ve always had our naysayers and trolls, but we confronted them selectively and together. Now it seems, someone can’t even post a fond memory from their childhood without it becoming a free-for-all fight. I am complicit in this. I’ve acted, at times, in this manner. I’ve apologize for it and done my best to not be baited into these unproductive conversations; even deleted comments and posts when they begin.

I accept my portion of responsibility for the current state the Outlaw Preachers. For almost 3 years, we have allowed this community to grow without clearly identifying who we are and what we’re about. Had we done this much earlier on, I believe we would not be dealing with the issues at hand. People would have clear expectations as to what we’re doing, what kinds of interactions are acceptable, and what kinds of interactions are unacceptable. At this point, it’s virtually impossible to reverse course and place boundaries on a community who’s boundaries have become almost entirely relative to the person/people interacting with the community.

When a farm is cultivated, there are clearly informed boundaries and roles for each portion of the farm. Those may change over time, depending on the needs of the farm, but the various boundaries are always clearly informed. If the livestock are given free reign of the gardens and fields, they will do with it what they’re designed to do: eat the maturing fruit and vegetables, destroy the ground, and ultimately decimate what has been labored for.

In the case of our Outlaw ‘garden’, I believe my recent admonition to ‘grab a ho and get to work’, though good for a few laughs, came a season or two late. The boundaries were not clearly informed and the ground of what we had has been largely decimated.

This, in no way means, the Outlaws are over, though. Some will stay and attempt to redeem that land and use it for something else. Should someone have the grace to bear that burden, I applaud and encourage them in this endeavor. But I am no longer that person.

It is with my previous comment, and with a great sense of pain, peace, and joy, that I say I have not only resigned from Outlaw Preachers leadership, I’m leaving the formal community.

I have expressed, at various points of my involvement in this community, that if my presence ever became a hindrance to the community, I would leave without hesitation. I expressed this as recently as Sept 28th at the OP11 wrap-up meeting to Connie, Nar, and Phil. At that meeting, I even asked if any one of them felt like it was time for me to leave. They all said, in no uncertain terms, “No”.

But that time is now and perhaps it’s long overdue.

I believe my continued involvement in the community is neither helpful nor healthy for either of us.

It’s not uncommon that I am up until 2am or 3am talking with various people about Outlaw issues. I sometimes spend hours of my days at work talking with people about various issues. I don’t say that begrudgingly. I’ve performed those functions joyfully. I have invested time, energy, and large amounts of money into this community because I believed in it. I even personally covered the almost $1500 deficit that we had at OP11, which all but about $400 has been recovered.

I feel as though the Outlaw Preachers has grown into something that no longer resonates with me. That not necessarily a bad thing for the community, but it is for me. I’m sad for that, but I’m not bitter about it. I recognize it as a present reality.

Rob Bell has this to say about these situations:

“Change is loss, but change can also be a catapult. When change happens, we often find ourselves asking ‘why?’, but perhaps a better question would be ‘What now?’.”

This is not to say that I am leaving the Outlaw Preachers to start something new, at this point. My leaving is not an attempt to split the group and/or topple steeples. I’m not interested in encouraging others to leave. Many of you have expressed an interest in leaving for some time. Some of you already have. This fact did not influence my decision in any way. I am leaving on my own, for reasons stated herein and unstated.

I do not wish any harm or destruction on the Outlaw Preachers. My prayer is that they will thrive in the manner they need to thrive. My prayer is that they find clarity, peace, and purpose.

Saturday night, I left all Outlaw Preacher groups on Facebook and removed the OP account from all of my Twitter apps. This morning, I deleted the hashtag. Initially, I did this because I needed to return to a place of peace, without the temptation to interact in a way that would compromise this pursuit. I’ve been weary for so long that it’s long been affecting my life outside of the community. Previously when I woke up in the morning, the first thing I did was check the OP Facebook group, the hashtag, and various twitter feeds to create a plan of how to mitigate whatever drama erupted over the previous night.

I haven’t done that since Sunday morning, and it has felt great… every.single.day.

I am incredibly thankful for the opportunities my involvement with the Outlaw Preachers has given me. I’ve met some amazing people, shared tears, laughs, bourbon, frustration, anger, and some amazingly kick-ass times. I’ve made some true friends for life. I acknowledge this and celebrate it. I always will.

May the grace and peace of our good teacher abide in the utter most parts of your being.

-b

Heaven Yes, Hell No!

Mad props to my friend Tripp Fuller for finding the most awesomest things ever. You’re gonna want to play this over and over and over and over and over again.

Enjoy!

Heaven Yes, Hell No

Customer Service Alternatives

 

My Rapture Party Playlist

Hey everyone!

Over the last several days I have received a TON of requests for the playlist I used at my Left Behind party last night -

which was brilliant, by the way.

So here’s the list, assorted alphabetically.

Name	Artist
Ring of Fire	Adam Lambert
Down In A Hole	Alice In Chains
(Antichrist Television Blues)	Arcade Fire
Keep The Car Running	Arcade Fire
Heaven Is A Place On Earth	Belinda Carlisle
Don’t Fear The Reaper	Blue Oyster Cult
Exodus	Bob Marley
Get Up Stand Up	Bob Marley
Is This Love	Bob Marley
People Get Ready	Bob Marley
Redemption Song	Bob Marley
Keep The Faith	Bon Jovi
Lay Your Hands On Me	Bon Jovi
Livin’ On A Prayer	Bon Jovi
Runaway	Bon Jovi
Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night	Bon Jovi
We Weren’t Born To Follow	Bon Jovi
Who Says You Can’t Go Home	Bon Jovi
Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)	Cinderella
Gone, Gone, Gone	Colin Farrell
I Put a Spell on You	Creedence Clearwater Revival
Long as I Can See the Light	Creedence Clearwater Revival
Someday Never Comes	Creedence Clearwater Revival
Who’ll Stop the Rain	Creedence Clearwater Revival
People Get Ready… Jesus Is Comin’	Crystal Lewis
People Get Ready	Curtis Mayfield & The Impressions
Get Me Right	Dashboard Confessional
Hell On The Throat	Dashboard Confessional
Grace Is Gone	Dave Matthews Band
When The World Ends	Dave Matthews Band
Where Are You Going	Dave Matthews Band
Bless This Mess	David Bazan
Help!	dc Talk
I Wish We’d All Been Ready (live)	dc Talk
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)	dc Talk
Jesus Is Just Alright	dc Talk
Armageddon It	Def Leppard
Heaven Is	Def Leppard
Blanket of Ghosts	Dustin Kensrue
Take Me Home Tonight / (Be My Baby)	Eddie Money
Two Tickets To Paradise	Eddie Money
Go Your Own Way	Fleetwood Mac
Long Road to Ruin	Foo Fighters
My Hero	Foo Fighters
Let’s Live For Today	Grass Roots
Don’t Cry	Guns N’ Roses
Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door	Guns N’ Roses
Live And Let Die	Guns N’ Roses
Paradise City	Guns N’ Roses
You Could Be Mine	Guns N’ Roses
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida	Iron Butterfly
Run To The Hills	Iron Maiden
Cautioners	Jimmy Eat World
Hear You Me	Jimmy Eat World
My Sundown	Jimmy Eat World
Carry On My Wayward Son	Kansas
Stairway To Heaven	Led Zeppelin
Are You Gonna Go My Way	Lenny Kravitz
Free Bird	Lynyrd Skynyrd
Spirit In The Sky	Norman Greenbaum
Drunkard’s Prayer	Over the Rhine
Failed Christian (Ash Wednesday Mix)	Over the Rhine
Long Lost Brother	Over the Rhine
I Would Die 4 U	Prince and The Revolution
A Whiter Shade Of Pale	Procol Harum
I belive in miracles	Push!
Killing In The Name Of	Rage Against The Machine
People Of The Sun	Rage Against The Machine
Sleep Now In The Fire	Rage Against The Machine
Testify	Rage Against The Machine
I Just Want To Celebrate	Rare Earth
Be Here Now	Ray LaMontagne
Hold You in My Arms	Ray LaMontagne
Let It Be Me	Ray LaMontagne
Trouble	Ray LaMontagne
Fly By Night	Rush
Freewill	Rush
Time Stand Still	Rush
Fly To The Angels	Slaughter
The World Has Come Between Us	Stage
Down	Stone Temple Pilots
Change	Taylor Swift
Love Song	Tesla
Signs	Tesla
House of the Rising Son	The Animals
Poison & Wine	The Civil Wars
Hotel California	The Eagles
Tequila Sunrise	The Eagles
Can’t Stop Lovin’ You	Van Halen
Don’t Tell Me (What Love Can Do)	Van Halen
The Seventh Seal	Van Halen

Standing Against God’s Word

My friend, Cathy McCammack, shared this post by Bob Harkema on Facebook this morning. Regardless of your opinion on homosexuality, I think we can all agree that Bob makes an incredible point.

Cheers!

******************

Moses gets Yahweh to change His mind.

In the last few weeks I have been involved in a number of Facebook conversations in which people have stated, “I love homosexuals, but the Bible says it is a sin so I must “hate the sin” and defend the kingdom of God against their entrance into it. In effect what they are saying is that if it wasn’t for the few supposed Biblical prohibitions they would welcome LGBTQ “brothers and sisters” with open arms and hearts into full fellowship and see their relationships as deserving of full civil recognition and equality.

There was another group of people several thousand years ago who felt abandoned by their leader and fell into idolatry.  They violated God’s words and God intended to destroy them all.  Moses could have taken a position that agreed with Yahweh that  all the people of Israel should be destroyed.  He could have agreed with God’s words.  But Moses did not do that.

Instead he implored God to preserve the people.  He went so far as to offer up his own name in the book of life.  He was successful in his pleadings for the people and God changed his mind.  (see Exodus 32 for the story)

If our friends who insist that homosexuality is against God’s word are truly genuine in their “love the sinner, hate the sin” position then perhaps they should demonstrate it by standing against “God’s words” and imploring Him for their preservation and real citizenship in His kingdom. Perhaps they could go so far as to say if they are not “included” then blot my own name out.

That kind of demonstration could change everything.

Left Behind: The Song (May 21st Rapture, May 22nd Party!)

I was perusing the Facebook this evening when I saw my friend, Phil Wyman, posted a video. Now that I’ve regained my composure and wiped the tears from my eyes, I’m able to share it with you all.

DISCLAIMER: I know this will probably be offensive to some Christians, namely those who believe in the theory of a Pre-Tribulation Rapture. I’m not one of those people, so it’s funny as hell to me!

Enjoy!

Make sure to follow Phil on Twitter!

I Deny the Resurrection

…and so do you.

My Sisters and Brothers

Last December, a “rather rapscallion bunch” of folks gathered together in Memphis, Tennessee for the first time. They were practitioners of faith. They were denizens of hope. They were purveyors of love. They were artisans of grace.

They are The Outlaw Preachers.

As a community which developed online over the previous year and a half, we weren’t quite sure what to expect from a national gathering. For about a year and a half, people said they wanted to do something like that, but did they really? How would we find a location that promoted our practices of community? Being that we didn’t have any financial support, how would we pay for… well, anything? And most importantly, who would really come to something like this?

Upon OP10′s announcement, almost immediately, people began volunteering to cook and organize breakfasts and clean. It was a dream-come-true! We also found out who really wanted to come. And we found some money. And the location? Well… I don’t think we could have found a better location for our first gathering than what was provided by First Congregational Church, Pilgrim House Hostel, and Celtic Crossing in Memphis, TN!

And while OP10 presented its share of challenges we all worked together, like the family we are, to make it a gathering that people are still talking about!

With the experiences and lessons learned from the inaugural gathering under our belt, the new planning team is committed to making OP11 an even more memorable gathering of Outlaw Preachers and friends from all over the country.

As was the case last year, we want to hear from voices from within our community at OP11. People like Kathy Escobar, Crystal Lewis, Kimberly Knight, and Jay Bakker have already confirmed, but we know there are more out there!

We are looking for people with something to say; people with a word burning in their innermost parts. Can you think of anyone who fits that description? If so, let us know!

This year, we have assembled a team of 11 people from our community to help plan and guide OP11. As more plans and speakers are confirmed, we will be posting them on the Official Outlaw Preachers (re)Union website, so make sure to check back often!

Oh! And don’t forget to register. It only takes a couple of minutes! Go to OPreunion.com NOW!

See you in September!

In Sharing the Gospel

In our zeal to share the gospel, sometimes we forget…

by Dan Pizaro for Bizarro.com

Eternal Darnation

by Dan Piraro at Bizarro Comics